lost love

how will i make it?

2007-03-14T18:24:00.000-07:00

how will i make it? i just wish i was just a kid,but no, i can recall how i suffered so much when i was still young although i have a complete family we're really suffering from poverty and i dont want to be a kid again. not when i can see that all of my friends are playing while i was nursing my siblings. now that i'm a grown up already, i just wanted to help my parents in making a living. i dont want my siblings to suffer with the same poverty we had when i was still young. people think i'm strong but i'm not. i'm weak inside. i'm weak because i've got no shoulder to lean on. i only got myself. yes, i have my family but i dont want them to know that im not that strong because what they all believe is that i can make it. maybe this is how God punishes me with all my sins. i hate responsibilities but i should be responsible for my family's welfare now that i believe my father has no intentions of going back to saudi. how i hate to think about the times that we doesnt have enough money to get through the day, i dont want that to happen... i dont know what to do. how i wish God will help me. i know he will. He loves me so much, i'm sure of that.

my first GK Build

2007-02-25T17:33:00.000-08:00

sunday 8 am at our GK site, poveda college.it was one of the wonderful experience i've ever had since i joined SFC last Deceember. it was only me and RJ from our group who joined the build. while building, i learned that i can also build relationship with others. since it was only me and rj from our group and i can't come with rj joining other men dig septic tank, i made my myself ready for "adoption"". i was adopted by another group, ate jane and kuya art welcomed me in their household. i'm glad i've been part of that build. i saw my college classmate there and had the chance to gain new friends form other sector and from our unit. the plan is to build 29 gk houses on that site and they've finished almost 11 houses since they started last october, if i'm not mistaken. it was my first time to paint a house and get dirty lifting pale of sands.

God is good

2007-02-21T22:35:00.000-08:00

God is good! for the past few days, i've been hunted by my past but with the God's glory i surpassed it. now, i can say that i'm not that bothered with my past.
i am only human, and like most of us, i commit sins. but i know God will help me all the way to the life i've been thirsting to have.

why am i so sad?

2007-02-20T20:57:00.000-08:00

why am i sad? is it because i had the chance to talk to my ex but can't have a chance to stole him away from that bitch gf of her? i still think of him most of the time. a crazy man who'll do everything just to reach those dreams of him. the hell with them both.

There's nothing to fear!

2007-02-19T02:22:00.000-08:00

Wow! I feel great today. No more burden in my chest, not even regrets. I’ve surpassed the “normal” melancholy (A bit self-inflicted) & I commend myself for that.
I feared being alone until I learned to like myself. I feared failure until I realized that I only fail when I don't try. I feared success until I realized that I had to try in order to be happy with myself. I feared people's opinions until I learned that people would have opinions about me anyway. I feared rejection until I learned to have faith in myself. I feared pain until I learned that it's necessary for growth. I feared the truth until I saw the ugliness in lies. I feared life until I experienced its beauty. I feared death until I realized that it's not an end, but a beginning. I feared my destiny, until I realized that I had the power to change my life. I feared hate until I saw that it was nothing more than ignorance. I feared love until it touched my heart, making the darkness fade into endless sunny days. I feared ridicule until I learned how to laugh at myself. I feared growing old until I realized that I gained wisdom every day. I feared the future until I realized that life just kept getting better. I feared the past until I realized that it could no longer hurt me. I feared the dark until I saw the beauty of the starlight. I feared the light until I learned that the truth would give me strength. I feared change, until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a metamorphosis before it could fly.